1 decade ago. A big list of medical jokes! The doctor replied, "What about the other half?" Do you have a joke? He had no idea what was coming. the doctor says. The doctor gave him a thorough examination, found absolutely nothing physically wrong with him, and... the joke is just one of many funny jokes on Joke Buddha! The priest questioned him again and again and Charlie continued to insist that he did not take any of the offerings. Starts at 60 Daily Joke: A woman went to the doctor. Two doctor jokes. no comments yet. Daily Joke: A man goes to the doctor. John went to an eye specialist to get his eyes tested and was prescribed glasses. What The Doctor Told Her Was Brilliant. He went to see his eye doctor who performed tests on his eye. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said: "Your hearing is perfect. [54395] 'I went to my doctor and told the receptionist that I felt like a deck of cards. How to Impress a Woman:
sex. See TOP 10 doctor jokes from collection of 324 jokes rated by visitors. Taken aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, "Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you're 75 years old. They are the best Internet has to offer. Rachael Rosel. Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. (B) The guns may stop working at the last moment,
Also, take a look at our other funny jokes categories. I went to the doctor today and said. [57565] Yesterday I went to the doctor for my yearly physical. When I was a kid, I went to a psychiatrist for one of those aptitude tests. Close. Feb 06, 2020. The priest then asked him again, "Charlie, did you take any of the offering?" I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Click on the button bellow to send us your joke. Press J to jump to the feed. This time, Charlie replied, "I can’t hear you." The doctor told his patient to stop using a Q-tip, but it went in one ear and out the other. Share Tweet. and he replied ' because I'm trying to examine you!' How to Impress a Man:
Charlie was responsible for taking up the offerings at a local church. 1 … But it turned out to be an Optical Aleutian. Drinking Jokes The house call is here! 280. women. Get on board with these classics and some original Beano gems. What do you call the useless piece of skin on a penis? So he gave me a kite. "Yes, of course," said the doctor, "why not!" The doctor gave him a thorough examination, found absolutely nothing physically wrong with him, and then told him, "Listen, if you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you just have to stop taking your trouble to bed with you." Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. A doctor and a lawyer During a party, a doctor is telling a lawyer that he is sick of his friends asking him for free medical advice. [60231] A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus? Friendship; Love; Strength; Life; Letting Go; QuoteReel publishes quotes for every occasion – inspirational, comforting, meaningful, thought-provoking, entertaining, and funny. The man lost 20 pounds in one week! Best first: An old lady was always travelling the same route on a bus. desert island. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, "I'd like to have some birth control pills." I picked it up and half my face was burnt!" He hadn't been feeling well for a couple of days so he was worried what had happened to … Usually there's a doctor and a patient. protect her,
I was embarrassed but she said “don’t worry, I’m a professional – I’ve seen it all before. listen to her,
You're ugly. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Leave a Comment. (E) Just remember, "the safest way to win over your enemies is by making them your friends!". See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes. 2 years ago. The doctor replied, "I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms" My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. User account menu. Have a nice day. "I saw them play Cleveland in '99! A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. He was pulled in by a strong currant. The man says, No they've always been brown. Doctor, doctor jokes have really stood the test of time! Rachael Rosel. One afternoon, a man went to his doctor and told him that he hasn't been feeling well lately. Archived. Submit a Joke. See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes. dad. "Why, that's amazing!" show up naked,
The lawyer says, "just do what I do, and leave a bill in their mailbox." The eye doctor asks him if his eyes have ever been checked. 1. Finally the wife speaks up, "Oh honey, just give him your underwear! An elderly woman went into the doctor's office. Doctor, doctor jokes have really stood the test of time! Relevance. First concert I ever went to on my own. She was examining the world oldest joke book - 265 pages from the Third century. fat. I know a guy who had his doctor say, "Take some weight off, go to a health club." He told me I could have a stroke at any time. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said: "You're really doing great, aren't you?" He sits down and the receptionist asks him why he is there. and get some very funny answers! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts." and get some very funny answers! u/mrbadassmotherfucker. I thoight I saw an eye doctor when I was in Alaska. FPJ Fun Corner: Best WhatsApp jokes and memes to lighten your mood amid COVID-19 on January 4, 2021 Humour can relieve stress and although many may not like the idea of … Tommy Cooper Jokes. eye doctor jokes clean . kiss her,
I was embarrassed, but she said, "Don't worry, I'm a professional, I've seen it all before. 308. Starts at 60 Writers. Funny Office Joke – 4. On the desk, he put a pitchfork, a wrench, and a hammer and he said to the nurse: ‘If he grabs the pitchfork, he’ll become a farmer. Like. 12.4k Views. 437. The second guy comes back and says "Amazing, I do have the smallest head in the world"
IT. I went to the doctor today- joke? Posted by. A guy goes to the doctor. Share Tweet. A woman and a baby were in the doctor… [52461] Yesterday I went to the doctor for my yearly physical. nerd. 3 guys walk into a bar
black people. ... Dave was suffering from a terrible headache, so he went to see his doctor, who was a recent medical graduate. You should go to the Psychiatrists' 'I was on my way there, Doctor, when I noticed your light was on' 16:17 Sun 16th Jun 2019 Funny doctor jokes that include psychiatrist jokes, psychologist jokes, dirty doctor jokes and eye doctor jokes. Source: Pexels. The 3 guys go to the Guinness World Records. It's costing me 6p a month for the next 2 years. I went to the doctor the other day. support her,
Doctor: "Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in." The blonde answered, "They called back." He said just think in colors. Sort by. An old man decided to go to the doctor one day. His doctor prescribed some pills, but they didn't help. If guys had they periods, they would compare the size of their tampons. bring beer. Just tell me what’s wrong and I’ll check it out.” I said “my wife thinks my dick tastes funny.” [54641] A man went to his doctor, seeking help for his terrible addiction to cigars. Answer Save. Eye Doctor Jokes. 57 jokes about doctors. Why do men need instant replay on TV sports? Hundreds of jokes posted each day, and some of them aren't even reposts! "It's not unusual." '” #joke #short #doctor Joke | Source: Pun of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous puns on the internet. The doctor was quite familiar with his very compulsive patient, so recommended an unusual and quite drastic form of aversion therapy.When you go to bed tonight, take one of your cigars, unwrap it, and stick it A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone. What possible use could you have for birth control pills?" share it with us! I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. Get on board with these classics and some original Beano gems. Log In Sign Up. Check out these Medical Jokes About Doctors. 90 of them, in fact! The machine tore his leg off! go to the ends of the earth for her. 'Doctor, I think I'm a moth' 'You shouldn't be here. The man complains, "I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes." comfort her,
Have you seen all jokes? Turns out my new doctor is a drop dead gorgeous brunette. Afterall laughing is said to be the best medicine. The doctor asked to examine the baby. One afternoon, a man went to his doctor and told him that he hasn’t been feeling well lately. 437. She said, 'Have a seat, and the doctor will deal with you when he can. poems. stupid. At the circus the clowns don't talk. Joke has 76.89 % from 23 votes. The doctor said: "I didn't say that. (D) Your family might not like the amount of compensation on your behalf
Rachael Rosel. I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?' Hilarious Short Quotes "Doctors" Group 5. User account menu. Absolutely hillarious doctor one-liners! I went to the doctor. The blonde said, "Well, I was ironing my husband's shirt until the phone rang. How nice it would be," said the John with joy, "I have been illiterate all my life so far." Hundreds of jokes posted each day, and some of … First joke I've ever come up with. log in sign up. Special Glasses-Eye Doctor Jokes . Vote: share joke. best. SHARES. I was 12 years old and it was the first concert I ever went to. We hope you liked our collection of doctor jokes. More jokes about: men. spend money on her,
lesbian. I asked him 'why?' '”, “I went to my doctor and told the receptionist that I felt like a deck of cards. Joke: A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. So far nobody has laughed I went to the opticians and they were telling me about revolutionary technology to allow us to see out … racist. She went on to defend the comedian, adding, “Now, I love jokes. Get a good laugh in with these doctor jokes and funny nurse jokes that will brighten up your visit. Close • Posted by just now. She told the doctor her problem and he said, “You have the crabs”. The doctor gave him a thorough examination, found absolutely nothing physically wrong with him, and then told him, Listen, if you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you just have to stop taking your trouble to bed with you.I know, sai Again, the reply was, "I can’t hear you." The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds." The receptionist asks, "Have you ever seen a doctor?" A scrotum pole! Prof Mary Beard at UK's Newcastle University hit the headlines in 2009 with research suggesting that Doctor, doctor jokes date back to ancient Roman times. Barely held by the confines of the canvas, the joke seems to project into our space. Eye Doctor Jokes . A lady went to a doctor’s office, and was being examined by a doctor. I think it was very funny. The man. white people. wine & dine her,
Taken aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, "Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you're 75 years old. If he grabs the wrench, he’ll be a mech.. Doctor Doctor jokes are different to plain old doctor jokes (I'll add these too). chemistry. Goal is to have funny joke every day. 18 Answers. The husband does not hear well asks several times for the doctor to repeat. A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. Doctor jokes. I said, "I'm suffering from hereditary diarrhea!" hold her,
Get a good laugh in with these doctor jokes and funny nurse jokes that will brighten up your visit. I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'have you got anything for wind?' jewish. The general surgeon spots a duck flying from the marsh, aims his rifle, shoots the duck in one shot, and turns to the others and says "I just shot myself a duck." But my doctor knew how to calm me down. "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. She said, 'Have a seat, and the doctor will deal with you when he can.'' See more funny doctor jokes The third guy "I have got the smallest d*ck in the world"
Two doctor jokes : I went to the doctor the other day. The third guy comes back angry " Who the F*CK is JUSTIN BEIBER? Doctor, doctor jokes are very old - not just in content, but as a type too. He advised me to stop masturbating. Tommy Cooper Cooperisms Went to the paper shop - it had blown away. He took Charlie aside and questioned him. Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. The doctor gives the man the tablets. Joke has 24.26 % from 11 votes. "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome." love her,
'”, “I went to my doctor is the best Joke for Wednesday, 19 October 2016 from site Jokes of the Day -. I bought some HP sauce the other day. The doctor says to the husband, " I will need a stool sample, a urine sample, a blood sample, and a semen sample." A woman went into the doctor’s office. She said, 'Have a seat, and the doctor will deal with you when he can. I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for 'flu. Turns out my new doctor is a drop dead gorgeous brunette. It was nice of him to give me permission to masturbate like that! 0 comments. (C) The Enemy is 1000 times intelligent than you,
A man went to the doctor one day and said: “I’ve just been playing Rugby and when I got back I found that when I touched my legs, my arms, my head, my tummy and everywhere else, it really hurt.” So the doctor said: “You’ve broken your finger.” The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings. The patient starts the joke by saying "Doctor, doctor!" Joke tags. The doctor asks, "What do you mean?" Nov 18, 2019 . Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again." A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts." My blood pressure was high, my cholesterol was high, I'd gained some weight,and I didn't feel so hot. When the blonde returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds. An Old Lady Went To The Doctors. Morris replied: "Just doing what you said, Doc. I went to the doctor. My doctor said eating right doesn't have to be complicated and it would solve my physical problems. I went to see the doctor the other day. kids. caress her,
Doctor Jokes and Puns. funny eye doctor jokes . The intern sees a duck, aims his rifle, leads the duck with his first shot, trails it … ... DISCLAIMER: A number of the jokes, photos and videos seen in this site are not created by us, they're made by our users or they simply get it someplace in the … I absolutely love Iron Maiden." One day an old lady went to the doctors because she had an itch in her crotch. So he gave me a kite. … Press J to jump to the feed. - Wall Street Journal According to hospital insurance codes, there are 3 different ways you can be injured by a lamppost. 'I went to my doctor | Jokes of the day (54395), “I went to my doctor Do you know a good joke which isn't here. They are the best Internet has to offer. A short Polish immigrant went to the DVLA to apply for a driver's license. Quote Topics. The largest collection of doctor one-line jokes in the world. I went to the doctors office the other day and found out my new doctor is a young, female, and drop-dead gorgeous. All sorted from the best by our visitors. hide. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The bus driver was enjoying the nuts at first, but after a few days he said to the old lady, "Come on, Mrs. Bilker, it's really nice of you, I'm loving the peanuts, but please stop bringing me so much, have some for yourself!" I went to the doctor and told him.... Close. dead baby. A doctor reaches into his smock to get a pen to write a prescription and pulls out a rectal thermometer. Elderly Jokes. Two doctor jokes. Log in or sign up to leave a comment Log In Sign Up. Yo mama. Usually there's a doctor and a patient. Book. He goes to see his doctor and is immediately rushed to the hospital to undergo a barrage of extensive tests. When they went on their reunion tour in 1999, my parents took me to see them in Cleveland. “This is your doctor. Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! blonde. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" Iron Maiden are my favorite band of all time. I went to see the doctor the other day. The patient starts the joke by saying "Doctor, doctor!" He told me I could have a stroke at any time. Finally, the priest yelled, "Charlie, did you take any of the offering?" Nurse: "Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office". knock-knock. gay. r/Jokes. Returning visitor? What do you call twelve naked men sitting on each others shoulders? I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?' Funny Eye Test Doctor Jokes . the world"
You can see his lips moving. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, "I'd like to have some birth control pills." math. The second guy "I have the smallest head in the world"
Posted by u/[deleted] 21 days ago. An elderly woman went into the doctor's office. - Joke for … Funny joke of the day is carefully selected joke. To which the priest replied, "By golly, you’re right, you can’t hear in here!". and then goes on to explain some illness or symptom. Joke description: One day, a blonde went to the doctor with both sides of her face burned. Vote: share joke. The doctor says, "I know what's wrong with … 55 Short jokes. asian. share I was embarrassed but she said “don’t worry, I’m a professional – I’ve seen it all before. The doctor asked to examine the baby. I'm busy. Elderly Jokes. When I went to the ER to have a painful ingrown toenail removed, I was a complete basket case—sobbing, gagging, petrified … the works. So he gave me a kite. "Is it common?" A group of physicians are duck hunting. A man returned to the U.S. after a trip abroad feeling very ill. Just tell me what’s wrong and I’ll check it out.” I said “my wife thinks my dick tastes funny.” A man goes to the doctor. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. On his next visit the doctor gave him a shot, but that didn't do any good. “I went to my doctor and told the receptionist that I felt like a deck of cards. “I just looked up how to perform this operation on YouTube.” —Chelsea Bender, Hamburg, Pennsylvania On his third visit the doctor told the man, "Go home and take a hot bath. Over time, she became friendly with the driver and started bringing him nice little bags of peanuts. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened. When you're cured, head on over to our teacher jokes or ask Why did...? The man says, "When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. Nov 18, 2019. and then goes on to explain some illness or symptom. Be the first to share what you think! One liner tags: doctor , health , puns 75.24 % / 179 votes. 100% Upvoted. So, they traded places and Charlie asked, "Is it true that you and my wife are having an affair?" Get a hot mamma and be cheerful." F dirty . 1. She informed the doctor that it could not be the crabs because she was an eighty-year-old virgin. The doctor asked, "What happened?" One Sunday, after the service, the priest counted the money and found there was less than anticipated, given the size of the congregation. Chuck Norris. Laugh at 4,300+ Funny Jokes for Kids Daily Joke: A woman and a baby went to the doctor. What Follows Next Will Blow Your Mind. “I went to my doctor and told the receptionist that I felt like a deck of cards. Read on these relatable funny medical jokes. Mrs. Smith Went To The Doctor’s Office. Source: Pexels. redneck. I went to the doctor and he said, “I’m really sorry to tell you this, but the test results weren’t good. - Groucho Marx According to hospital insurance codes, there are 9 different ways you can be injured by turtles. He hadn't been feeling well lately so he wanted to know what's wrong. Turn to QuoteReel any time you are looking for inspiration, fun, or words of wisdom. mexican. Anonymous. He said just think in colors; F 308. 21.2k Views. Enjoy our funny doctor jokes and puns. animal. The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable cold. A man goes to the eye doctor. “Oh, damn it,” he proclaims, “Some asshole has my pen!” Share. Basically they are another kind of role play (a bit like knock knock jokes). stand by her,
He asked the doctor if these will I be able to read the newspaper after wearing glasses?" compliment her,
nsfw. Laugh at funny kids jokes, including more Doctor jokes, Horse jokes, Pony jokes at Boyslife.org. Check out these Medical Jokes About Doctors. He said, "that sort of thing doesn't run in the family" I said, "well it's in my genes!" The funniest doctor jokes only! Similar jokes. The house call is here! The first guy says "I have got the smallest arm in? The doctor decides he'll give that a try and thanks his lawyer friend. little Johnny. If I touch my knee - OUCH! Charlie said that he did not take any of the offerings. “Don’t worry about a thing,” he assured me. So, the priest told Charlie to get into the confessional, which he did. A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. save. Daily Joke: A woman and a baby went to the doctor. SHARES. report. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any. Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair. Source: Pexels. nsfw. Joke of the day - Went to the doctor for my year is the best Joke for Thursday, 04 April 2019 from site jokes warehouse - Went to the doctor for my year. I Went to the Doctor pushes Prince’s conceptual concerns further, by presenting the stacked letters which comprise his signature one-liner ablaze in golden tones that thrum against a fiery crimson background. Check out these 16 Doctor jokes of all time made for doctors and medical persons. marriage. share. She said, 'Have a seat, and the doctor will deal with you when he can. When you're cured, head on over to our teacher jokes or ask Why did...? Man goes to the eye doctor. "Oh! The priest asked Charlie the same question several times and Charlie would always reply, "I can’t hear you." "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home.'" Source: Pexels. How can you tell if a man is lying? The man can't believe it. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris ... More jokes. So I went, and I got it.' 357. (A) You are not Tom Cruise,
It was red and inflamed but the doctor couldn’t find the reason why. It was nice of him to give me permission to masturbate like that! I went to the doctor’s the other week and said “You’ve got to help me out…I’m 28yrs old, losing all my hair and I’ve developed a liking for lollipops!” He said “Sounds like you’re suffering from premature kojakulation.” Pin It. My blood pressure was high, my cholesterol was high, I'd gained some weight, and I didn't feel so hot.My doctor said eating right doesn't have to be complicated and it would solve my physical problems. An old man went to a doctor to get a general checkup. See TOP 10 doctor one liners. The priest was now beginning to get angry, so he came out of the confessional and said to Charlie, "Trade places with me and you can ask me a question." The first guy comes back and says "I really do have the smallest arm in the world"
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